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Gatorade promotes its own infidelity
Gatorade has dropped its sponsorship of Tiger Woods. Why? Well, he's a bad, bad man because he cheated on his wife. This hits my "hmmmmm" radar. Due to the fact that they're more than happy to sponsor the NFL, NBA, and just about any other sporting event they can get their grubby little mitts on, i find this curious, and i'll tell you why.
Think about the actual criminal record of major league sports players. The NFL alone offers an impressive hit list of unsavory behavior. I found a list of infractions on the web. The list doesn't even cover things like the Randy Moss perpetual yellow sheet of charges mysteriously dropped while he was playing for West Virginia, and it's still decidedly nasty. According to reporter, Jeff Benedict, 40% of NBA players have criminal records.
And yet, every time the players head for the sidelines during a game, some little guy comes rushing over to hand them a refreshing cup of Gatorade.
So why do we see Gatorade rolling up the proverbial newspaper and whapping Woods in the nose while they proudly cheer on the genuinely criminal behavior of pro athletes in other sports? It's all about women. Put on your hiking gear and follow this trail of logic.
Men and boys may be the prime consumers of Gatorade, mostly because it tastes vile and only a man trying to prove his manliness would drink the stuff. However, who in the house does most of the grocery shopping? That's right. Women. We're the ones who put it on the list when we head out to the market. We have a sneaking suspicion it has some magical vitamin property that we can actually get our sons and hubbies to suck up without complaint. We want them to be healthier and better people, and we'll buy anything that will help us accomplish this goal. This is exactly why the Woods infraction set off alarm bells in Gatorade's marketing department.
Tiger didn't just cheat on his wife, he claimed he had a sex addiction that required therapy and rehab. Walk up to any woman you know and ask her what she thinks of "sex addiction" as an actual disease. Most of us will look you square in the eye and call it bullshit. Calling it a disease is just an excuse so when a guy cheats again he can apologize again, say he can't help it because it's a disease, and ask for forgiveness and continued support so he can get past it. It's a wannabe get out of jail free card. We aren't buying it.
Now, couple that with all the media hype Woods got over the whole escapade. We women, the ones holding the shopping lists, are going to equate a sponsor of a lying, cheating, so and so with something we don't want to encourage in our guys. We aren't just refusing to buy the sex addiction disease; we're also refusing to buy the product that endorses the guy giving the lame excuse.
However, what percentage of these same women are watching a football game? The numbers are low. Having checked several surveys, the average comes to about 23%, give or take. Imagining a chunk of those women are young and just hanging out with their significant others, the numbers drop further. Gatorade loses nothing by continuing to promote their product on a field littered with cheaters and criminals.
Interesting double standard, wouldn't you say? Those Gatorade folks are wicked smart.
While i don't condone Tiger's behavior, and i certainly don't condone the media frenzy that covered it, i have even less respect for a product that displays a mentality that thinks we girls aren't smart enough to figure that one out.
Gatorade used to be on my market list due to the fact that there's a teenage boy in the house. It's now off the list, not because they took so long to drop Woods, or because they continue to support the NFL (which i adore, i confess.) I dropped them from my market list because they're showing the players the same level of loyalty a sex addict shows his wife. Despite their seemingly clever efforts, they aren't pulling the wool over my helmet.
Lily Robertson, who is saving up for a Wes Welker Pats jersey, can be reached at canopicjargon@gmail.com or on Facebook.
