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Chapter 3, in which piglet offends the parents of prostitots...
Abercrombie Kids, as most of you know by now, has come out with a line of bikinis for the 8-12 set. They come with padded bikini tops. Because, well, every right thinking parent in the world wants their kid to look like little Heidi-Ho, yes?
Here’s what I don’t get. Moms are constantly raising their fists at the government for not sending door-to-door alerts that there’s a potential child molester in the neighborhood, then they rush out and buy their darling pre-deb clothes that would be appropriate for any dark street corner in a red light district. Yet, most of these broads have more sense than to hand-feed an antelope carcass to a lion. Maybe the sense of protection only kicks in when it’s directly related to their own bodies. When it comes to their daughters, I suppose they expect the police, teachers and other authority figures to do all the guard dog work.
Abercrombie Kids is well aware of this, and they’re capitalists who do their job well. Sales of these particular bikinis will probably net them a bundle. News shows are yelling that parents are outraged and want this line removed from the shelves. Well, the line probably will be removed from the shelves. Little girls will yell and scream that the other little girl down the street has a padded bikini and it’s not fair if they can’t have one, too. Then the moms will rush right out and buy them to keep their daughters fashionable. The line will be removed, complete with receipts and credit card statements.
What these moms really don’t want is to have to spend money on padded bikinis for grade school girls. What they just don’t seem to understand is that the best way to accomplish this is to remove the damn market for them. Don’t. Buy. Crap. Try to remember for once, just exactly which one is the child and which one is the parent.
The alternative is to shut the hell up. Either shut up about how Abercrombie Kids does business or shut up about pedophiles. This option has an astronomically high improbability factor because today’s moms (in general) would rather yell at a system or business than yell at their own kid. Whatever the problem is, it isn’t the mom’s fault, and it’s certainly not their precious little angel’s fault.
Two-piece bathing suits that are just cute rather than twisted attempts at sexy actually exist for little girls. Third-graders parading around as junior SI swimsuit issue models is just a little creepy. And frankly, it’s just plain mean to those who are genuinely trying to overcome a nasty, predatory predilection. Yes, I have compassion at the oddest moments, but anyone trying to better themselves gets a high rating on my list. I don’t imagine these same moms would think it was one bit cool to suddenly find out that they weren’t allowed to walk into an organic grocery store without taking home a double-fudge cupcake.
A few months ago the moms threw a fit about Walmart’s cosmetic line for tweens. Now they’re throwing a fit about the beach baby bimbo line. All I’m saying is that if they keep buying these things with the same exuberance they use to yell about them, next year they’ll be able to throw fits over a Victoria’s Secret cupid cup catalogue. And the hits will keep on coming.
Lily Robertson, who used to think the height of glamour was to go clomping around the house in her mom’s heels once in awhile, can be reached at canopicjargon@gmail.com, on Facebook, or you can over-expose your opinion right here.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Voice For All
Yesterday a young man stood alone to show his support of people he’s never met, and who may never know him.
Yesterday a high school principal transformed himself into a Tiananmen Square tank.
I’ve never witnessed such a beautiful act of bravery before in my life.
Dylan Anderson of Hampton, New Hampshire read about Governor Walker’s underhanded tactics in Wisconsin and was outraged. He was especially moved by the idea that teachers had lost their collective bargaining power. Dylan, normally not a political activist by any stretch of the imagination, has a very firm sense of right and wrong. He will stand up for what he believes in. He learned about the national walk-out movement and decided he wanted to participate.
He spoke to his friends at Winnacunnet High School. They all agreed with him and said they would stand with him to show their support for the teachers. They planned the ten minute walk-out very carefully. They made flyers that stressed the importance of conducting themselves in a respectful fashion. They made it very clear that the point wasn’t to bail out of school early, and everyone would return to class in a quiet, orderly way after the ten minutes were up. They made posters to hold during the walk out. Dylan made an announcement on the school television station the next morning. This was the point where Principal William McGowan had a truck load of opportunities to be an educator. This was the point where McGowan chose to become a dictator.
During the course of the day, McGowan sat Dylan down and told him that if support was going to be shown, it would be done McGowan’s way or no way at all. Dylan expressed his eagerness to participate in whatever McGowan had planned, but would also stick with his own plan. McGowan informed Dylan that if he walked out of class, he would be suspended. Dylan said he understood the consequences but would still show his support for the teachers in Wisconsin promptly at 2pm.
McGowan made announcements to the school stating that any student participating in the walkout would also be suspended, and that all teachers were required to take down the names of students leaving the classroom and report them.
At 2pm almost every student in the school felt too intimidated to leave class. Three students arrived in front of the school at 2pm, Dylan, the school tv station videographer, and the school paper’s photojournalist. The first thing McGowan did was tell Dylan to go back to class. Dylan respectfully and calmly declined. The second thing McGowan did was commandeer the services of a handy police officer to remove the rest of the posters from the premises. The third thing McGowan did was take away the school videographer’s camera and made him watch as he deleted everything on it related to the walkout. He then proceeded to bark at the little photojournalist who’d wanted to take pictures for the school paper. She was so frightened she had an asthma attack. While McGowan remained outside, he displayed no issue with the students on the second floor of the building who leaned out the windows to heckle Dylan. Though the hecklers were disrupting school, they had remained in class. That was just fine with McGowan.
In the end, one young man stood alone, in front of the school, McGowan, a police officer, and all his peers, holding up a poster with three words; “Voice For All”. At 2:10 p.m., Dylan calmly thanked the second story hecklers for their support, and then returned to class.
Dylan’s the only one in school who now has Monday off.
McGowan had a chance to teach students the importance of standing up for what you believe in without being belligerent. McGowan opted to teach students that if you colour outside the lines, you’ll be punished regardless of whether you’re doing the right thing or not. McGowan had the opportunity to encourage an aspiring photojournalist to do precisely what a real photojournalist does. McGowan chose to introduce her to censorship. McGowan could have shown that he stands behind the schools pro-active effort to put an end to bullying. McGowan showed the students that bullies get their way. McGowan could have shown students that their voices count. McGowan taught students that rather than a voice for all, there was only a voice for one…McGowan’s voice.
Dylan’s father firmly believes that his son learned far more by standing up for his beliefs than he could have learned in class on Monday. Dylan’s father may or may not agree with what his son believes in. Dylan’s father, however, firmly believes in his son.
Lily Robertson, who was too furious to type this yesterday, can be reached at canopicjargon@gmail.com, on Facebook, or you can express yourself freely right here.
Yesterday a high school principal transformed himself into a Tiananmen Square tank.
I’ve never witnessed such a beautiful act of bravery before in my life.
Dylan Anderson of Hampton, New Hampshire read about Governor Walker’s underhanded tactics in Wisconsin and was outraged. He was especially moved by the idea that teachers had lost their collective bargaining power. Dylan, normally not a political activist by any stretch of the imagination, has a very firm sense of right and wrong. He will stand up for what he believes in. He learned about the national walk-out movement and decided he wanted to participate.
He spoke to his friends at Winnacunnet High School. They all agreed with him and said they would stand with him to show their support for the teachers. They planned the ten minute walk-out very carefully. They made flyers that stressed the importance of conducting themselves in a respectful fashion. They made it very clear that the point wasn’t to bail out of school early, and everyone would return to class in a quiet, orderly way after the ten minutes were up. They made posters to hold during the walk out. Dylan made an announcement on the school television station the next morning. This was the point where Principal William McGowan had a truck load of opportunities to be an educator. This was the point where McGowan chose to become a dictator.
During the course of the day, McGowan sat Dylan down and told him that if support was going to be shown, it would be done McGowan’s way or no way at all. Dylan expressed his eagerness to participate in whatever McGowan had planned, but would also stick with his own plan. McGowan informed Dylan that if he walked out of class, he would be suspended. Dylan said he understood the consequences but would still show his support for the teachers in Wisconsin promptly at 2pm.
McGowan made announcements to the school stating that any student participating in the walkout would also be suspended, and that all teachers were required to take down the names of students leaving the classroom and report them.
At 2pm almost every student in the school felt too intimidated to leave class. Three students arrived in front of the school at 2pm, Dylan, the school tv station videographer, and the school paper’s photojournalist. The first thing McGowan did was tell Dylan to go back to class. Dylan respectfully and calmly declined. The second thing McGowan did was commandeer the services of a handy police officer to remove the rest of the posters from the premises. The third thing McGowan did was take away the school videographer’s camera and made him watch as he deleted everything on it related to the walkout. He then proceeded to bark at the little photojournalist who’d wanted to take pictures for the school paper. She was so frightened she had an asthma attack. While McGowan remained outside, he displayed no issue with the students on the second floor of the building who leaned out the windows to heckle Dylan. Though the hecklers were disrupting school, they had remained in class. That was just fine with McGowan.
In the end, one young man stood alone, in front of the school, McGowan, a police officer, and all his peers, holding up a poster with three words; “Voice For All”. At 2:10 p.m., Dylan calmly thanked the second story hecklers for their support, and then returned to class.
Dylan’s the only one in school who now has Monday off.
McGowan had a chance to teach students the importance of standing up for what you believe in without being belligerent. McGowan opted to teach students that if you colour outside the lines, you’ll be punished regardless of whether you’re doing the right thing or not. McGowan had the opportunity to encourage an aspiring photojournalist to do precisely what a real photojournalist does. McGowan chose to introduce her to censorship. McGowan could have shown that he stands behind the schools pro-active effort to put an end to bullying. McGowan showed the students that bullies get their way. McGowan could have shown students that their voices count. McGowan taught students that rather than a voice for all, there was only a voice for one…McGowan’s voice.
Dylan’s father firmly believes that his son learned far more by standing up for his beliefs than he could have learned in class on Monday. Dylan’s father may or may not agree with what his son believes in. Dylan’s father, however, firmly believes in his son.
Lily Robertson, who was too furious to type this yesterday, can be reached at canopicjargon@gmail.com, on Facebook, or you can express yourself freely right here.
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