Dragon Age: Origins slays me

I am a 47 year old woman and i have a weakness for video games that allow me to kill things.  I'm most partial to killing things that ought to be dead in the first place, such as zombies.  I could kill zombies for hours.  Throw in a puzzle/logic aspect, and i'm sucked into the thing for good.

Normally, i'm a bit of a hit and run sort of gamer girl.  I can play for a few hours, then walk away from the game for days without any qualms or having my fingers twitch every time i think about the X-Box controller.  Then i ran across Dragon Age: Origins.  There i was, minding my own business, little rabbit fu fu, stomping through the forest, hunting down the darkspawn and lopping off their heads...when the most extrordinary thing happened.  I took my little group into base camp to do a little character maintenence.  This is the part that's usually like playing with paper dolls. (Fess up, guys, it really is!)  You try this piece of armor on this guy, hand that two-handed axe to that guy, and it's all very routine.  You have a short conversation with everyone for party morale, dum de dum, then out you go to kill some more evil things that are threatening the realm.  But no, this day was different.

As my blood spattered little rogue elf headed for the tent, the hero initiated a conversation.  This happens on odd occasions when they want you to do something for them like find their grandfather's lost perpendicular ring of dislocation or something.  But no, this guy wanted to give me a rose.  I looked at my conversation options and none of them were, "What?!"  He proceeded to flirt with me in a charmingly awkward sort of way, and he actually blushed.  I sat there stunned, my jaw planted firmly in my lap, and the worst part was, way in the back of my aged heart i noticed a hint of a girlish giggle trying to escape.

Now i'm hooked. 

One really cool thing about games is that you can save just before you try something stupid.  I'd been noticing the conversation options i was given, saved the thing, and proceeded to ask the classic stupid girl question.  "Where is this relationship going?"  He freaked out, sent me a four point disapproval rate, and stopped calling me "Dear".  Hah!  I went back to my last save, didn't ask him the stupid girl question the next time, and sure enough, he still loved me.  If only it were that easy in the real world!

Oh, i know, i know, he'll probably dump me for some sparkly human floozy and tell me it's because he has to be king or something.  Men are the same.  They always find some excuse to wander off.  "Oh, I love you, darling, but there's this whole realm that needs me."  I sincerely hope at that point my character is given an eye-roll option. He might even play the species card.  "My love, you're an elf, and i'm a human, and our parents would never understand."  Either that, or we'll just get to this point where i say something that vexes him and he won't speak to me again until the local teenager i snarf games from buys the expansion pack. 

Ah, but i'm a slow and meticulous gamer.  I have time.  Until then, i'll suffer the slings and arrows of the other characters teasing my avatarial boyfriend because i know after a long day of fighting evil and stealing from the rich (and anyone else in my path), he'll smile and gently brush aside the bit of entrails stuck in my hair as i slide into his pixel arms.

And hey, when you're an elf, 47 years old is nothing!  For now, i am the great and mighty Grey Warden, Herepuppy, and fated to share my tent with Alistair, the starry-eyed former Templar. (Sigh.....)

Lily Robertson, whose character has way better tattoos, can be reached at canopicjargon@gmail.com or on Facebook.