The Unemployment Cliffhanger

All the little senators and all the little representatives have finally seen the light. The light is neon and it flashes the words, "Pork! Pork! Pork!"  Millions of Americans are in desperate need of continued unemployment checks until the job market stabilizes and congress is well aware of the fact that if a new extension bill gets voted down, the masses will riot.  So, now is the time for all good elected officials to come to the aid of ... themselves! 

Yes!  I'll just tack on that clause that gives my buddy the right to plow over all those endangered wetlands!  I'll tack on a rider that demands everyone pay homage to me in the form of platinum lawn jockeys!  I'll take Aunt Sophie out of the attic and put her in a brand new nursing home conveniently attached to a golf course staffed entirely by a year of Playboy Bunnies of the month!  This could work.....

Or not.

What they fail to realize in all their excitement is that this is a golden opportunity for us, as voters, to examine exactly what sort of porky selfishness our elected officials are after, enabling us to ensure that they're no longer elected officials. 

Face it, it's a pretty cheap shot.  Take something that families on the brink of starvation and homelessness need to stay off the streets, then put something totally unnecessary in fine print on the bottom.  I'm certain they're hoping that all we see are other senators voting against it in a blur of villainy.  The senators who are outraged look like the bad guys, and the sneaky ones come out smelling like roses because they were looking after the people.  Compassion is being, once again, eradicated by the force of human greed.

Does it ever occur to them that the reason they have to sneak riders onto legitimate bills is because they'd never fly on their own and we'd sneer them out of office?  Of course it does.  What doesn't seem to occur to them is that the reason they'd get sneered out of office is because they're doing something wrong.  These are people who don't wake up in the morning trying to believe at least three impossible things before breakfast.  These are people who wake up justifying at least three atrocities before they finish their first cup of coffee. 

I'm a freelance writer, so i don't qualify for unemployment benefits.  Nonetheless, even i find this business of delaying voting on an extension bill utterly ridiculous even though it doesn't effect me in the slightest.  Especially since the voting is being delayed so more and more senatorial dog-rockets can slip extraneous nonsense into the bill. I watch people get up every morning and hit the job boards, send out resumes, hit the pavement and fill out applications, all the while knowing there are hundreds of others lined up for the same job.  I watch the difference in shopping cart loads at the market checkout stands. If i had any money, i'd be the first to invest in Top Ramen or SPAM.  I'd make a mint right about now.  How can our elected officials not see this?

Technically, elected officials are public servants.  This is one time when beggars can demand to be choosers.  They want to eat, but they're mighty sick of being served a constant diet of pork.

 Lily Robertson, whose only unemployment benefit is the leisure to go to the beach if she gets too disheartened by the job boards, can be reached at canopicjargon@gmail.com, Facebook, or you can just speak your mind right here.